10 Things You Know After Having A Threesome

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1.

Your body is yours.
You can loan it out but it always leaves with you
Smelling like them
Their fingers imprinted on your soft skin
You will feel them hovering but they are no longer in touching distance

2.
The next day, you will smile wider than you ever have before
You will walk with new confidence knowing you are braver than most
Knowing you laugh in the face of a challenge and have found others that will too.

3.
Everything will remind you of a magic that exists now only in your memory
Attempting to recreate it, is an free fall with no safety net

4.
He is not to be trusted

 

5.
He is tantalized by the allure of what you created but will never fully credit you for the smile on his face
The smooth in his stride
He will call you a genius but never reconcile all the other names he calls you in secret
He will never understand how you spell cast or who you are writing to in the middle of every night
He will never care to know
You did all this
So he could smile after

 

6.
She will follow, wherever you lead
Women are loyal this way
Girls fuck him solo and lie to your face
Boys push hard enough to force the porcelain of your face to shatter and then remark on how patched together you now look
Boys are a cruel awaking you can never underestimate

7.
Threesomes are about the spirit more than parts pressed.
About connection and wanting to create a moment that outlasts you.

8.
The first time you are with her
Without him
You will fuck an apology into her
Will beg her orgasms to sing a song sweet enough to erase the compromise you made of her
You will hug and kiss her as long as she wants to
Because you owe her, at least that

9.
You will avoid the typical destruction most fall hopelessly into
Fantasizing about a moment they could never manage
The flesh is a fool and the heart, always wants what it wants.

10.
Your feelings will messy themselves all over the conversations to come.
You will be fine though.
You will come through this.
It just may not be, together.

 

(originally published Feb 15th, 2014)

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In 2002, while seated on a beanbag in a crowded poetry venue Natalie knew her life would be far different than she envisioned. She had never shared one of her poems and even writing outside of a journal was new. With a few poems, dedication and a bunch of passion Natalie went on to make the Los Angeles Slam team, get accepted to NACA and book a full college tour and run a monthly poetry venue, The Siren Collective. Natalie soon began developing her own curriculum and her love of teaching emerged stronger than ever. At the recommendation of a fellow poet, the legendary Stan Lathan asked her to facilitate a poetry based educational event, after a job well done he followed with an offer to join the cast of Debbie Allan's Def Poetry ALL star show. The spirit of contribution always extremely central to Natalie’s life work she continued to support Da’ Poetry Lounge nearly every week since 2003. As a result of that commitment and dedication in 2010, she become the first female producer and host in the 15-year history of Da Poetry Lounge (the nations largest weekly poetry venue). That same year, Natalie developed and facilitated innovative poetry programs for under-resourced youth as Director of Poetry for Collective Voices Foundation, teaching eight classes a week at five different schools. Natalie is currently teaching her private workshop, Reconnecting: Vulnerability and Integrity, as well as in high school classrooms throughout Los Angeles. From April-December 2013, Natalie has committed to releasing chapbooks to further push her creativity and release some of the poems that would otherwise stay on her external hard drive. Natalie seeks to spend more time creating, collaborating and teaching in the years to come. She currently lives in Los Angeles. She enjoys love notes, working in the middle of the night, black tea, and spending Sunday’s in love.

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