Sometimes we find ourselves with people that we can not explain. These are people that for one reason or another we can not get enough of. In our mind we know it’s not going to work out, we aren’t compatible, or the relationship is down right destructive. But something happens when we are in close proximity. Sparks fly, a reptilian chemistry emerges from our subconscious and we are propelled by a raging desire. This passion is informative, it can tell us about what is really going on between two people. It can tell us about ourselves and the other person.
We must first recognize that our personalities are as much nature as they are nurture and it only takes one other person to form a society or culture with us. Context for our own reflection and action is formed when another person gives us permission to behave in a way we have always wanted but never felt we could. Our potential expands when we are inspired by others to take on new roles. We are such impressionable social beings that our whole personality can change when a certain person walks into a room. This is especially the case with physical intimacy.
There is a curiosity we feel when we are attracted to someone. An innate desire to find out what is going on with them.We know about the different levels of communication, written word is below spoken word, and face to face is known as the highest form. If we think about it, the highest form of communication is touch. Just like checking a person’s pulse can tell you if they are lying, body language is undeniable. A man, when aroused, though he may try, can not subdue an erection. Women too, can not mentally control their bodies release of its natural lubricant. The naturalness of the body is the root of the phrase “bare naked truth”.
Lies come with language. Words tend to complicate the simple, and are inherently narrow at describing the biggest feelings. Love can not be described with words, but it can be described with the body. It is a feeling so big that only touch and action can communicate it. The vocabulary, of embrace, kiss, caress, and intercourse is love’s glossary. Just as we feel love in the spiritual connection of two souls, and the intellectual connection of two minds, the physical connections of our bodies is also love. We must understand that it can exist on each of these plains exclusively or all at once.
This is why we can go crazy for someone in bed but can’t stand to set across from them at the table. In order to understand why we must realize how simple body language is. Your body does not think, it only feels. Two people can communicate their true desire for each other without the cloudiness of thought. To talk to someone is to engage the mind and, though you may know what to say, you have to translate your thought and feeling in to a language that may not have the right word. You also have to know the proper word, use it in its proper context and expect that the person you are saying it two knows the word, recognizes the context, and translates it back into the same thought in their own mind.We’re not always eloquent enough to communicate with our words so each step in the process of verbal communication leaves great margin for error.
With touch it is much simpler. If a person is still, it is because their body wants to be still. If they are moving it is because their body wants to move. The body and mind can work together but the mind works independently also. The body is its own authority at times. As we learn to listen to our bodies we can interpret its feelings and better synchronize our body and mind. This can help us to align our desires with our goals but it is not an easy task.
If you are feeling a touch that your body likes, it will lean in as reflex. You must train to modify the reflex if you do not want it to do so. The truth of joy is in the body. The mind ads its own awareness as a product of intellect. This is why we can find ourselves victim to the cravings of the body against our better judgement, but it is not all negative. At times it may be important to look into the clarity or perspective the body provides. Just as with our diet we must be aware of the effects of the physical connections. We may not like the taste of vegetables but will find we have a random craving for spinach if the body is devoid of fiber. If the body is craving a particular type of touch that too,informs us of what we may be needing. Pain and pleasure are our natural tools for navigating the earth, and our instinct supports the likelihood of feeling either.
If your body is recognizing another person’s as a place of comfort and not risk there may be something to it. And it may be up to us to clear a path in our mind to find the comfort in that person on an intellectual level as well. This balance comes with trial and error and through practice can be honed. It will require experimentation and risk, just as it does to learn all other things. Believe half of what you see, none of what you hear, but all of what you feel, because the purest truth is in the body.